Two Poems – Thomas P. Mgrath

Christmas Came In Autumn

Santa Claus,
My hero,
Delivered me a rake this year
All the way from the north-pole.
Mum said he climbed down the chimney,
Gulped the beer,
Gave the carrot to the reindeer,
And left ‘that note’.

My friend laughed when he heard I got
A rake.
He got a game system,
A real go-er.

Come Autumn,
The leaves came down by the sack-full.
Dad paid me to rake them all up
And burn them.
And he told me that
Santa is very clever for giving me
Such a useful gift.

.

.

Either Either

The Early Bird gets the Worm,
But the Early Worm gets eaten
By the Bird.

The Man From Horsemouth – Thomas P. McGrath

The Man from Horsemouth

The Man down the road from us drinks his own urine.
He also invented a cure for the common cold by grinding mustard seeds, ginger, the ash from burnt bones and then enough tequila to make it a paste.